HELLASICK of HELLAFLUSH, bring on the function…

HellaFail

DISCLAIMER: There are functional hella-flush setups out there.  I’m even borderline hella-flush, albeit with big, fat, meaty tires.  My frustration lies with the terms “poke” and “stretch”.  I’m not going to describe this nonsense to you, there is already plenty of attainable information with a little google-fu; I’ve linked a couple sources of information here.

I frequent a few automotive forums in the Subaru community.  Over the past couple years the HELLA-FLUSH scene has really, uh…. blossomed… and getting a little out of hand, in my humble opinion anyways.  So here is my very futile attempt at ‘dysfunctional car’ prevention.

For those in the dark about the the pitfalls involved with a HELLA-FLUSH setup, check MotoIQ’s article on the matter.

WARNING: Graphic images of vehicle neglect herein.

OP;
Okay,

I have done much searching and even trying to talk to others that have a similiar setup but never any mention back. I have a 2011 STI sedan and I am going with a 18×10.5 +30 wheel, I have BC coilovers….the question is do I HAVE to have the rear control arms or can I use the stock ones with some kind of a camber kit like the Whiteline one? My tire size will be a 245/40-18

Thanks in advance to any information you have!!

“Jaz”;
Whoa – a 245/40 tire on a 10.5 rim??? I don’t think that will work. A 245/40 is quite stretched on a 9.5 rim.

OP;
@ JAZ I actually know of someone with a 225 on a 10″ so I should be alright for now at least….

My thoughts (replied & evolved a bit)…

I know an individual or two who have spent paychecks on methamphetamines, so no harm in rocking that either I suppose; that’s some seriously flawed logic.

If you’re asking me… which you’re not, but I’m going to say it anyways… You’re letting the wrong folks influence your car modding mentality. This super-duper hellaflush thing is quite popular; I even see some and think to myself “that doesn’t look half bad, I actually quite enjoy the aesthetics.” But you lose a ridiculous amount of function; not just high-performance function either, legitimate daily driving characteristics will be hindered just the same.

Have you seen how your pals with these ridiculous setups have to maneuver over the slightest bump in the road? If where you live is one giant parking lot for miles that has absolutely no transitions and was just paved last week, you’re golden; but if not, those transitions are going to become extremely cumbersome after a very short while. Never mind speed bumps or drainage paths. Spirited driving or track day? <Insert p’shaw here>, you’re slow-cruisin’ everywhere with a puckered up shit-chute, sweating over pavement cracks like a toddler scared they’re going break their mother’s back.

My advice; don’t stretch a tire that much. If you absolutely must, at least put a bead of gorilla glue  to help secure it to the wheel for safety’s sake.

For the inept, that’s satire. Just like your car once you’ve achieved HERRA-FRUSH status, the glue won’t actually serve a functional purpose. For the sake of whatever deity you pray to or believe in, think of the tire. If your tire had a face, I imagine its expression as it hung on for dear life would look something like this…

TooMuchStretch

Envision simply trying to push this skateboard down the road to your pal’s car that’s out of commission on the corner (cause his tire slipped off the bead of his wheel). He needs your help getting his spare on stat, which by the way is going to be HELLA-TUCKED into the fender well.

Flush-Skateboard

Never mind taking it to a park for a session of kick-flips and fakies, or whatever else those super limber athletic kids are doing these days. Just consider the annoyance of constantly stressing over little pebbles and making sure you’re balanced in the right spots so you don’t scrape and bust open your face.

I’m not saying you need to go full-goon like me and run some mixture of a track setup and stanced garbage on a daily driver. If I’m being honest with myself, it looks like I’m riding on balloons; but its HERRA-FUNCTIONAR. I can approach road-imperfections and corners at normal or accelerated speeds and not worry about my tire shooting off my wheel like one of those paper wasp things that you’d shoot at the nerdy kid in science class (thanks, bullies).

In the end it’s your car, so do what you want.  But jot this down, you WILL get sick of slamming on your brakes as you glute-clench because there is a half-inch dip in the road and the SUV full of stoners behind you both; A) doesn’t know where their brake pedal is (let alone have the reflexes to hit it in time), and B) can’t stop in their classified mail truck as fast as you can in your tin can with Brembos.

EDIT to share this relevant video;

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